- Here we are. - Miss Froy.
- That isn't Miss Froy. - Isn't it?
- No. - It's silly to say but are you Miss Froy?
No. I am Madam Kummer.
She helped you into the carriage, then went to see some friends.
As you spoke of the English lady, she didn't connect her with Madam Kummer.
But she wasn't the lady. It was Miss Froy.
- Oatmeal tweeds, blouse... - I know, everything's the same
- but it isn't her. - When did you meet Miss Froy?
- Last night, at the hotel. - Was she wearing a costume like this?
- Yes, I think so. - Then I apologise. You did meet her.
- Then... - But not on this train.
In your subconscious, you substituted Miss Froy for Madam Kummer.
I didn't. I couldn't have. I talked to her here.
An English lady saw her. If this lady wouldn't mind...
Bon, aprés vous, madame.
What a gift for languages the fellow's got.
Would you tell us, is this the woman you saw?
It isn't a bit like her, is it?
- Yes, she's the woman. - It isn't, I tell you.
Are you sure?
- Perfectly. - She isn't, she isn't.
Come on, then. I'm so sorry to have troubled you.
Well? Aren't you going to say anything?
- You might at least gloat, if nothing else. - You only did it to save your own skin.
She was lying. I saw it in her face. They're all lying, but why?
Why don't you sit down?
Do you think I substituted Miss Froy's face for Madam Kummer's?
- I think a change'd be an improvement. - Miss Froy was on this train
and nothing will convince me otherwise.
Must you follow me round like a pet dog?
Let's say a watchdog, I've got all the better instincts.
Goodbye.
The doctor was right, I never saw Miss Froy on the train.
I'm glad you're gonna take it like that. Forget all about it.
Make your mind a complete blank. Watch me, you can't go wrong.
- What about something to eat? - Anything.
That's right. Come along.
- Would you like a little air? - Thanks.
- Can you eat anything? - I could try.
- You'll feel a different girl tomorrow. - I hope so.
I don't want to meet my fiancé a nervous wreck.
Your what?
I'm being married on Thursday.
- Quite sure you're not imagining that? - Positive.
Oh, I was afraid so. Ah, food.
- I couldn't face it. - Mind if I talk with my mouth full?
- If you must. - Care to hear about my early life?
- I don't think so. - Well then, I'll begin with my father.
It's remarkable how many great men began with their father. Drink?
- A cup of tea, please.
My father was a very colourful character and he was strongly addicted to...
You'll never guess?
- Harriman's Herbal Tea. - No! Double scotch.
- A million Mexicans drink it. - Maybe but Father didn't.
Miss Froy gave the waiter a packet of it.
- A packet of what? - Harriman's Herbal Tea.
We agreed you'd make your mind a complete blank.
- But it's so real, I'm sure it happened. - Did we or did we not?
We did. Sorry. Go on telling me about your father.
My father was a very remarkable man.
- Did he play the clarionet? - He did.
He never put it down unless it was absolutely necessary.
I couldn't help inheriting his love of music.
- Why not? - It was all he left me.
You know, you're remarkably attractive. Has anyone ever told you?
We were discussing you.
- Yes, of course. Do you like me? - Not much.
After I'd paid my father's debts, I started to travel,
until they tried to cash the cheques.
I'm writing a book now. Would you like to buy a copy?
I'd love to. When will it be out?
About four years.
- That's a very long time. - It's a very long book.
Do you know why you fascinate me? I'll tell you.
You have two qualities I admired in Father,
you haven't any manners at all and you're always seeing things.
- What's the matter? - Look.
- It's gone! - What's gone?
Miss Froy's name on the window. You must have seen it!
Now, steady, steady.
Thank you.
We've got to find her. Something's happening to her. Stop the train.
There's a woman on this train - Miss Froy. They're hiding her somewhere.
I appeal to you to stop the train.
Please help me. Make them stop the train.
Why don't you do something before it's too late?
- Please. - You think I'm crazy but I'm not.
Stop this train! Leave me alone.
- Leave me alone!
Huh! Ten minutes late thanks to that fool of a girl.
She gets up to any more tricks, we'll be too late for the match.
- I suppose you couldn't put it to her? - What?
Well, people just don't vanish and so forth.
- She has. - What?
Vanished.
- Who? - The old dame.
- Yes. - Well.
- Well, how could she? - What?
- Vanish. - I don't know.
That explains my point. People don't disappear into thin air.
- It's done in India. - What?
- The rope trick. - Oh, that.
It never comes out in a photograph.
Look, in half an hour we'll stop at Morshkan, just before the border.
I will leave there with my patient for the National Hospital.
If you come with me, you can stay overnight in a private ward.
- You need rest. - Sorry, nothing doing.
Isn't there anything we can do?
Yes. Find Miss Froy.
I tell you, if she does not rest, I will not answer for her.
You persuade her, she likes you.
I'm as popular as a dose of strychnine.
If you coat it with sugar, she may swallow it.
Cosmopolitan trains. People of all nations.
I've just seen at least a million Mexicans in the corridor.
I thought I'd look in to tell you to think over what Dr Hartz said.
If you fell like changing your mind, I'll be hanging around.
- What's all the mystery? - Miss Froy is on this train.
I've just seen that packet of tea in the rubbish.
- She may be dead now. - Dead or...
For sheer variety, give me an English summer...
We'll search the train. There's something definitely queer here.
Looks like a supply service for trunk murderers.
Look at that!
- All right, Miss Froy, it's only us. - Hurry up.
Perhaps it's Miss Froy bewitched!
I refuse to be discouraged. Faint heart never found old lady.
- Do you know anything about her? - No.
Only that she was a governess going back home.
- What is this thing? - Can't imagine.
There might be something down here.
- What on earth...? - Our Italian friend.
I've got it! Wait a minute.
There you are, the Great Doppo.
- His visiting card, look. - What's it say?
Magician, illusionist, mind-reader...
...see his fascinating act, the vanishing... lady.
- The vanishing lady? - Perhaps that's the explanation.
- What? - He's practising on Miss Froy.
- Perhaps it's a publicity stunt. - No.
What about the Baroness and Madame Kummer?
- What's your theory? - I don't know. My theory? I'll tell you.
Oh, dear! I can't get...
- Where are you? - In here. With a smell of camphor ball.
- I can't see you. - I'm about somewhere.
- Here I am. Where are you? - I don't know.
This is what comes of not saying abracadabra.
- Ooh! Ooh! - Are you hurt?
- Come on, out of it. - Not much.
- Come and sit down. - What is that?
In magic circles, we call it the disappearing cabinet.
- You get inside and you vanish. - So I noticed.
You were about to tell me of your theory.
Oh, my theory. Well...
my theory, my dear Watson, is that we are in very deep waters indeed.
- Ahem. - Oh! Thank you very much.
Let us marshal our facts over a pipe full of shag.
A little old lady disappears,
everyone who saw her insists she was never there, right?
- Right. - We know that she was,
therefore they did see her and so are lying.
- Why? - I don't know. I'm only Watson.
Don't bury yourself in the part.
They daren't face an enquiry as Miss Froy's still on this train.
- I told you that hours ago. - Yes, so you did.
- For that you shall have a cigar. - Ooh, thank you.
- We must search the train in disguise. - As what?
Well, er...
- English gentleman. - They'd see through you.
Perhaps you're right. Aha!
Will Hay.
Now, boys, boys, which of you has stolen Miss Froy? Own up!
- Give those glasses to me. - Why?
- They're Miss Froy's. - Are you sure?
Yes. Where did you find them?
- Down here. The glass is broken. - Probably in the struggle.
Do you realise that this is our first piece of tangible proof?
That's the lot.
Will you please give me those spectacles? They belong to me. Please.
- Are you sure? - Datemi questi occhiali!
Naughty, naughty. That's a large nose for a small pair of spectacles.
That's the game, is it? We'll see about that.
They're Froy's glasses and you know it. She's been here and you know that too.
Don't stand there hopping about, kick him, see if he's got a false bottom.
Hang on, I'll get him up.
Ow! That doesn't help.
Quick, pull his ears back. Give them a twist.
Now I've got him.
He's got a knife.
Get hold of it before he cuts a slice off me.
I can't reach it.
Aah!
Well done, that's it. That's it.
We know how that thing works, come out of there.
Is he out? We've got to hide him somewhere.
- What's in here? - Hurry up, quick, before he comes to.
It's empty. We can lock it.
Come on.
- Oh, no, you don't.
- What's the matter?
Garlic. I'll be all right in a minute.
- Here, let's tie him up. - Oh, yes.
So we definitely know that Miss Froy was on this train
and our friend in here had something to do with it.
That ought to keep him quiet till we find her.
Hard work but worth it. Let's have the evidence.
- Evidence? - The glasses.
- You've got them. - No, I haven't got them.
- Oh! - He's got them.
He isn't there!
Snookered! It's a false bottom.
- The twister! He's a contortionist. - He's gone.
To find the others. We can't fight the whole train, we need allies.
- But who can we trust? - That's the snag.
There's that Dr Hartz person.
Yes, you're right. Let's show him the symptoms.
Oh, wait a minute.
This is the one.
He's not there.
Listen... l've just had a particularly idiotic idea.
- I can believe that. - Supposing that patient is Miss Froy.
It didn't come on the train till after Miss Froy disappeared.
Oh, yes. Idiotic. Come on, let's find the doctor.
- No, wait a minute. - What is it?
- Notice anything wrong about that nun? - No.
I don't think she's a nun, they don't wear high heels.
Yes, you're right. Did you see Madame Kummer get on the train?
- No. - Well...
supposing they decoyed Miss Froy into the luggage van and hid her,
the first stop, a patient comes aboard, all wrapped up,
the patient is Madame Kummer, she becomes Miss Froy,
Miss Froy becomes that.
But why go to all this trouble to kidnap a harmless governess?
Maybe it isn't a governess at all. Perhaps it's some political thing.
Let's investigate.
Parlez vous français?
Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
You'll just have to cope with English. Can we look at your patient?
Thank you. Keep an eye on the nun.
What are you doing here?
Why are you in here?
This is a most serious accident case, you have no business to be here.
Dr Hartz, we want to look at your patient's face.
Are you out of your senses? There is no face there.
Nothing but lumps of raw flesh.
He has lost so much blood only a transfusion can save him.
- You want me to murder my patient? - You're sure this is your patient?
- We believe it's Miss Froy. - Miss Froy!
You can't be serious? Whatever put such ideas into your head?
- I understand she's deaf and dumb. - But she may lip-read.
It's possible. In that case, perhaps you'll join me in the dining car.
I'll be with you in a moment, I want to be sure my patient hasn't been disturbed.
How do I know how they cottoned on? Somebody must have tipped 'em off.
You never said the old girl was English.
What difference does that make?
In a few moments I shall order three drinks in the dining car.
Mine will be chartreuse.
One of the stewards is working for us, now, listen...
There's that girl again.
Seems to have recovered. Lucky it blew over.
Now, tell me what this is all about.
Have you ever seen your patient?
No. I just had a message to operate at Morshkan.
- How do you know it's not Miss Froy? - We believe it's a substitution.
- You really think...
Oh, I want a green chartreuse.
- Won't you join me? - Thanks. A large brandy.
- And you? - I don't want anything.
- Come on. - No, really.
It'll pick you up.
All right, just a small one.
Two brandies and a chartreuse.
Do you know anything about the nun who's looking after your patient?
No, only that she's from a convent close to where the accident occurred.
It's peculiar that she's wearing high-heeled shoes.
Oh, is she? That is rather curious, isn't it?
It's a conspiracy.
All these people on the train say they haven't seen Miss Froy but they have...
She's off again.
Hope she doesn't create another scene. Put the lid on our getting back in time.
...and then this fella Doppo came and grabbed the glasses.
Yeah, we had a bit of a fight.
- Oh, a fight? - We knocked him out.
Oh!
- He's made a speedy recovery. - Yes. All that's just bluff.
- Here. - Grazie.
How could he be involved in a conspiracy?
Look at the poor fellow, he's just a traveller.
- He's also a music-hall artist on tour. - Well?
The baroness's husband is Minister of Propaganda, he can cancel his tour.
- Oh, I see. - And if the stewards don't behave,
they have a cosy brick wall to run up against.
B-But tell me about the English travellers, they denied seeing her.
Just British diplomacy, never climb a fence if you can sit on it.
I can't understand why anyone would want to dispose of the old lady.
That's what stumps us but she was on this train and now she's...
gone.
Well... if you're right then the whole train is against us.
What are we going to do?
In view of what you just told me, I-I shall risk examining the patient.
- Come on... - One moment.
We mustn't act suspicious, behave as is if nothing had happened.
A drink, that'll steady your nerve.
To our health.
And may our enemies, if they exist, be unconscious of our purpose.
Let's go, we must hurry now.
Come on, drink up.
Wait in here.
Go on.
- Anything wrong? - Nothing.
Except they noticed you were wearing high heels.
However, it makes no difference.
We shall reach Morshkan in three minutes.
Quite an eventful journey.
Well?
Yes, the patient is Miss Froy.
She will be taken off the train at Morshkan.
She will be removed to the hospital and operated on.
Unfortunately, the operation will not be successful.
Oh, I should perhaps have explained.
The operation will be performed... by me.
You see, I am in this conspiracy, as you term it.
You are a very alert young couple
but it's quite useless to think of a way out of your dilemma.
The drinks you had just now contained a quantity of hydrocin.
It is a little-known drug which has the effect, in a small quantity,
of paralysing the brain and rendering the victim unconscious for some time.
In a slightly larger quantity, of course, it induces madness.
However, you have my word the dose was a normal one.
In a few moments you will join your young friend.
Need I say how sorry I am having to take such a...
How shall I say? Melodramatic course.
But your persistent meddling made it necessary.
- Are you all right? You fainted. - Did I?
There's a woman going to be murdered
and we've got to go before this stuff takes effect.
I read that if you keep going, you can stay awake.
Right. Let's get going.
It's locked.
We can't go that way, we'll be spotted.
- You can't do that! - Don't worry, it's only next door.
You stand on your head, anything, only, whatever you do, don't fall asleep.
Go on, you needn't be afraid, it is Miss Froy.
You haven't been drugged. He told me to put something in your drink but I didn't.
Who the devil are you?
Never mind. If you want to save her, you've got to hurry.
Hartz will be back soon, what will you do?
If we can hold him off till get past Morshkan, the frontier's a few miles on.
Come on, there's still time.
- 500 solamente?
Dopo tutto quello che ho fatto?
Cosa poi di questo orecchio mozzicato da quella ragazza?
That's Morshkan. Have you finished?
Come on, Miss Froy.
Cut it out, you're not drugged. I'll explain later. Abracadabra.
Miss Froy! Oh, I can't believe it!
- Thank you, my dear. Thank you. - Careful.
- Ready? - Yes.
Are you all right?
Yes. It's like rush hour on the underground.
Careful, it's slowing down.
Drat.
I'm sorry you've had such an uncomfortable journey, Miss Froy.
Get back on the train.
I hope nothing goes wrong. Aren't we stopping rather a long time?
The ambulance is going. We'll be off soon.
In a few minutes we'll be over the border.
No, I've been well-paid but this was murder
and she was an English woman.
- You are Bandrikan? - My husband was. I'm English.
You were going to butcher her.
Your little diversion made it necessary not only to remove the lady
but two others as well.
You can't do that.
Also, it would be unwise of us
to permit the existence of anyone who cannot be trusted.
- You wouldn't dare. I know too much. - Precisely.
I think we're over the border now.
- You can come out, Miss Froy. - Oh, bless me.
What an unpleasant journey.
Never mind. You shall have a corner seat for the rest of the way.
Now it's over, I think you should tell us what it's all about.
- What was that?
- It was only the train. - It wasn't.
Be careful.
They've rumbled. We're on a branch line.
Oh, dear, dear.
Who are you and why do they want you?
I haven't the faintest idea. I'm a governess.
They've made a mistake.
Why are you holding out on us? Tell us the truth.
You might at least trust us.
I really don't kn... I...
- I wonder if there's anyone on the train. - There's only the dining car in front.
What time is it? Teatime. Well, all the English will be there.
Come on, we'd better stick together.
There's the old girl turned up.
Told you it was a lot of fuss about nothing. Bolt must have jammed.
I've got something to say.
An attempt was made to abduct this lady
and I believe the people who did it will try again.
- What's he drivelling about? - Look. This train's been diverted.
- What are you talking about? - We're telling you the truth!
I'm not interested. You've annoyed us enough already.
You've got the wrong end of the stick.
- Things like that just don't happen. - We're not in England now.
- I don't see what difference that makes. - We're stopping.
See those cars? They're here to take Miss Froy away.
Nonsense. Look, there go a couple of people.
The car's come to pick them up.
- Then why uncouple the train? - Uncouple?
- There's no train after the sleeping car. - Our bags are in first class.
Not any longer. Like to come and look?
If this is a practical joke, it's not very funny.
Good Lord!
Get some brandy.
You don't suppose there's something in his story, do you?
- Seems a bit queer. - After all, people don't tie up nuns.
Thank you.
Someone's coming.
They can't harm us, we're British subjects.
I have come to offer the most sincere apologies.
A serious incident has occurred -
an attempt was made to interfere with passengers on this train.
- The authorities were notified
so if you'll accompany me to Morshkan, I will inform the British Embassy.
The cars are at your disposal.
We're grateful. Lucky some of you fellows understand English.
- Well, I was at Oxford. - So was I. What year?
This woman's trying to say something. I don't understand the language.
That's fixed him.
- What the blazes did you do that for? - I was at Cambridge.
- You heard what he said. - It's a trick to get us off the train.
His explanation was quite satisfactory.
A thing like this might cause a war.
I'm going outside. It's up to us to apologise.
Wh... Do...
- You were right. Do you mind? - Certainly.
Look as if they mean business.
- No, it'd mean an international situation. - It's happened.
- They're coming. - Don't let them in! They'll murder us.
I order you to surrender at once.
Nothing doing. Come any nearer, I'll fire.
I've warned you.
Better take cover, it'll start soon.
Nasty jam this. Don't like the look of it.
- Got plenty of ammunition? - A whole pouch.
- Duck down. - I'm not fighting. It's madness.
It'll be safer to protest down here.
They're trying to work around.
You're behaving like fools. What chance have we got?
You heard what the nun said - we surrender and we're in for it.
Never get to the match now.
- Give it to me. Give it to me! - No.
- What's going on? - He's got a gun and he won't use it.
- What's the idea? - I won't be a party to this.
- I don't believe in fighting. - Pacifist, eh? Won't work. Hand it over.
I'm not afraid to use it.
I'm probably more used to it. I once won a box of cigars.
He's talking rot, he's a damn good shot.
You know, I'm half-inclined to believe...
that there's some rational explanation to all this.
Rotten! Only knocked his hat off.
Would you mind if I talked to you for a minute?
- What, now? - Yes, forgive me but it's very important.
- Hang on to this, will you? - All right.
I think it's safer along here. You come, too.
I just wanted to tell you that I must be getting along now.
- You can't! You'll be shot down. - I must take that risk.
- Listen carefully. In case I'm unlucky,
I want you to take back a message to Mr Callender at the Foreign Office.
- You are a spy. - That's such a grim word.
- What is the message? - It's a tune.
- A tune? - It contains, in code,
the vital clause of a secret pact between two countries.
I want you to memorise it. The first part goes like this.
- # Da-da-da da, da-da de... #
Oh! Perhaps I'd better write it down.
- It's OK, I was brought up on music. - Very well.
# Da-da-da da, da-da de... #
- The old girl's off her rocker. - No wonder.
Why don't you face it? They'll kill the lot of us.
For goodness' sake, shut up.
- # Da-da dum-dum-de # - That's right.
Now we have two chances. You will remember it?
I won't stop whistling it.
- This is my best way out. - Yes, just about.
Even if you do get away, they'll stop you at the frontier.
- We can't let her go like this. - It's a hell of a risk.
In this job, one must take risks.
I'm very grateful to you both for all you've done.
I pray no harm comes to you and that we shall meet again one day.
I hope so, too. Good luck.
Good luck.
- Will you help me out?
Now, you take the weight on top.
Right you are.
Goodbye.
- Was she hit? - I'm not sure.
Well, that's the end of my 12.
Not much left here either.
We've only got one chance - get this train going.
Try and get back to the main line and cross the frontier.
Those driver fellows won't do what you tell them.
- We'll bluff them. Who's coming?
- Me. - Me, too.
We can't all go. You carry on here.
If we have any luck, we'll stop at the points then you can switch them over.
You idiots. You're just inviting death.
I've had enough. Just because I've the sense to try and avoid being murdered,
I'm accused of being a pacifist. All right.
I'd rather be called a rat than die like one.
Think for a moment. If we give ourselves up,
they're bound to give us a trial.
Stop it. Nobody's listening to you.
Very well, you go your way... I'll go mine.
- Where are you off to? - To do the sensible thing.
Oh, let the fellow go.
I don't understand...
Oh, please...
Why aren't we going? They said we were going, why aren't we?
If only he can get us away.
Only one left. I'll keep that for a sitter.
They're coming towards us.
Pity we haven't a few more rounds.
It's funny, I told my husband when I left him that I wouldn't see him again.
Gilbert. Gilbert!
- We're off! - Gilbert came through!
Go on, keep going.
- Do you know how to control this thing? - I watched him start it.
I know a bit about it. Once drove a miniature engine.
Good. I'll look out for the points.
The blighters are chasing us.
We can't have far to go.
Time for my little job - changing the points.
That will not be necessary.
I am sorry but the points will not be changed over.
Will you please be seated?
There they are, just ahead of us. Do you think you can stop it?
Hope so.
Keep still until my friends arrive.
- If you move, I will shoot.
There's one thing you don't know.
There's only one bullet left and if you shoot me, the others will have a chance.
You're in a difficult position.
Sit down, please.
All right.
Where's Charters?
- Go ahead, she's done it.
It's all right, it's just my leg.
Or as they say in English, "Jolly good luck to them."
I'm glad all that's over, aren't you?
Heaven knows what the government will say about this.
- Nothing. They'll hush it up. - What?
Hey, take your hand off it, I've got to remember a tune.
- Remember...
- Porter, sir? - No, thanks.
- Well, we're home, Gilbert.
Can't you stop humming that awful tune?
I'm not taking any risks.
- Charles be here to meet you? - I expect so.
Hm.
- You'll be busy before Thursday. - I could meet you for lunch or dinner.
Sorry, I didn't mean that...
No, I've got to deliver this song, then I'm off to Yorkshire to finish my book.
I see.
- Ready? - Yes.
Ample time to catch the 6:50 to Manchester after all.
Yes.
# Dada dum-dum, da-da-dum #
- Any sign of Charles yet? - No, I can't see him.
Well, this is where we say goodbye.
What's the matter?
- Charles? - Yes!
You heartless, selfish, swollen-headed beast!
- Are you going anywhere? - Foreign Office.
Where are we going for our honeymoon?
Somewhere quiet, somewhere with no trains.
Mr Callender will see you now.
Wait a minute!
- It's gone. - What?
- The tune. - Oh, no!
Let me concentrate.
No, no, that's the Wedding March.
This is awful! I've done nothing but sing it
and now I've forgotten it completely.
- Miss Froy! - Well, I'll be had.